Many people who own a dog have children, many people who own a dog get a dog FOR their children, heck, many people who own a dog ARE children. It is because of this that I often get asked questions regarding children and dogs. How do we get the dog to listen to our child?, How can we teach the dog not to play rough with our kids?, and the list goes on. So here are some helpful tips regarding dogs and children!
Involve your child in the acquisition process- The first topic I would like to address is before you have acquired the dog, so if you already have a dog you may skip this section, or read it for future reference! If you are considering getting a new dog, sit down and talk with your child about the idea of having a dog beforehand. If you feel your child is responsible enough to have his own dog, it is even more important to sit down and talk about ALL of the responsibilities that come with having a dog. I think it is a great idea to put together a "contract" that lists all the needs they will need to meet for their dog. Here are just a few responsibilities that can be included:
Meals (who feeds the dog and when?)
Bathroom breaks/walks (who walks the dog and when?)
Training sessions (If your child is old enough, have them commit to a group training class once a week. In addition to the class, two 15 minute training sessions a day.)
Playtime (what games will you play with the dog and when?)
Grooming (who will groom the dog and how often?)
Once you and your child have agreed on who is responsible for meeting your new dog's needs, then start researching breeds. There are breeds that are known for being better with children than others because of their temperament, energy level, size, etc. so do your homework and narrow the list down to a few candidates. Even if you are planning on going to the shelter to adopt (GREAT IDEA!), having a list of breeds you are interested in will help you pick the best dog for you once you get there, even if it is a mix breed (i.e. you may go to the shelter looking for a Labrador Retriever and end up falling in love with a Lab mix). Make sure you have an honest discussion with your child about the specific needs for each breed you are considering. If your child does not enjoy brushing or grooming than a long haired dog may not be a good pick. If your child does not have a lot of time to exercise the dog or take it for walks, you definitely do not want to look at breeds that have high energy levels.
Teach your child how dogs communicate- humans are very verbal communicators, while dogs actually use verbal communication as a last resort. Dogs rely much more heavily on body language in order to communicate. Therefore, they pick up on subtle cues from humans that most of us are not even aware that we are giving! This is especially true of children who typically give off play signals unintentionally and then get upset when the dog jumps up on them or mouths them.
It is important to teach your puppy that he isn't allowed to react that way no matter what "signals" he picks up. However, perhaps even more important is the opportunity it gives you to teach your child how to act around ALL dogs, even those that are not trained. It is a constant struggle for me to teach my 15 month old son how to respect dogs since my dogs are so "bullet proof" my corgi will let Clayton do practically anything to her (including sticking his fingers up her nose, pulling on her ears, and riding her like a pony), however I don't want him to grow up thinking ALL dogs will allow him to do that to them. Not to mention the fact that it isn't nice to do even if they let you! Here are some of the biggest miscommunications between dogs and kids:
Running: Whether it is because they are playing outside or they are running to get away from the dog, dogs love to play chase games. So when your child is running across the yard playing by himself, he should anticipate that running will make the dog want to join in on the fun. If the dog is already chasing them and they run, they are literally saying, "Come get me!", in dog language. Help your child understand that the best way to calm the dog down is actually by standing still.
Screaming/Yelling: Another popular response from kids is screaming/yelling. Whether they are yelling because they are having fun or because the dog has upset them, kids tend to yell in a higher octave than adults. Dogs translate higher octaves as excitement and happiness so their yelling just gets the dog even more excited. Think about what we do to our voice when we "sweet talk" our dogs, its sort of a sing-song, higher octave, tone of voice. Have your kids practice using their "in charge" voice. They should practice saying your dog's negative marker word (what you say to your dog when he does something undesirable) in as low an octave as possible. Have them practice this without the dog present at first.
Holding a Toy just out of reach: Boy do kids love to do this one! Perhaps its because they are so tired of everything being out of their reach that they want someone to know how it feels? I choose not to believe that it is an innate behavior for kids to tease animals but it does seem to come so naturally to some! A child will pick up a toy that the dog is playing with, hold it just out of the dog's reach, and then they are totally surprised when the dog jumps up/on them to get the toy and knocks the child down. Work with your dog on a reliable "drop it" command and teach your kids how to play fetch with your dog. Make sure they know that when you take a toy away from the dog that toy should either be put away or given back to the dog, not held just out of the dog's reach.
Playbiting Withdrawal: When a puppy playbites or mouths you or your kids, your first instinct is to dramatically withdraw and yelp (those puppy teeth are sharp!) However, this actually sends the wrong message to your dog. If you observe two puppies playing, one will playbite the other, bitten puppy will jump backwards, and biter will pursue bitten puppy even more. So, in dog language, withdrawing with a yelp actually means "game on!" The best way to handle playbiting is to say your negative marker word (remind them to say it as deeply as possible and not "yelp" the NMW) and not move a muscle. Why do animals play dead in the wild? Because the other animal is more likely to leave them alone if they don't react. This even works on people! My husband is less likely to give me a hard time if I don't react when he tries to get a rise out of me. It may be difficult to get your children to sit still while your dog mouths them, as I said before, those puppy teeth are sharp! If this is the case, it may be best for the parents to work on decreasing the playbiting, and then have the child follow suit.
Include your child in the training process: Many dog owners who enroll in my training sessions ask me if they can bring their children along to the lessons. Depending on the child's maturity level (age means very little), I encourage kids to come to the lessons. I think it is VERY important for the child to learn how to handle the dog appropriately. In my training sessions, I stress the importance of not just telling the dog what he CAN'T do but also telling him what he CAN do. What I find common with kids is that they are very good at spotting behavior they DON'T like in their furry companion but not so good at telling the dog what it SHOULD HAVE done. I believe this is because most kids don't know what the dog SHOULD do. An example would be a dog who likes to jump only on the kids, there are probably several reasons for this (some are listed above). However perhaps the biggest culprit is that when the dog jumps on the kids, the kids tend to get upset at the dog, but not communicate to the dog what he should have done in that situation (i.e. perhaps sitting would be better than jumping).
Kids do not have to be taught what a dog shouldn't do, they know naturally that they don't like the dog jumping up on them or biting them. They often do not know what a dog should do, like sit to ask for attention. Attending training sessions with their dog will teach your child what the dog should do. My nephew was only 2 years old when I asked him if he wanted to feed our dog "Rocky" a treat. As soon as I handed him the treat he whirled around to Rocky and said "Sit!" and Rocky did. He knew my dogs have to sit to get their treats so we had no trouble with Rocky jumping up or pushing him over to get the treat because Darren communicated to Rocky what he was supposed to do, therefore avoiding what he was NOT supposed to do.
Step in for your child, but only when absolutely necessary: One question I get quite often is, how much should I let my child handle on his own and how much should I step in and help him when the dog is not cooperating? There is no tried and true formula to determine how much parent interaction is helpful/hindering but there are two main things you want to keep in mind. The first is why we DON'T want to continually step in, the second, why sometimes we MUST step in.
It's hard not to step in and help your child every time they have trouble getting your dog to behave, but if you do this too much it can be harmful to the relationship between your child and your dog. When you continually intervene, the dog is learning that he only has to behave and listen to your child when YOU are around. If the consequences come from you instead of your child, the dog will know there are no consequences when you are in the other room. It is important that whenever possible, your child takes the necessary steps to make sure the dog behaves appropriately (this is determined by your child's maturity level, size, and skill level, of course). While your dog is learning he only has to listen to your child when you are around, your child's confidence is diminishing. Seeing you step in every time is going to make them believe they can't do it themselves. Pretty soon your child will not be willing to even attempt to get the dog to behave without your help and will want you to step in ALL the time. What's worse, when your child DOES decide to try, they will not have the confidence to convey to the dog that they are in fact in charge.
So now that I have convinced you to resist the urge to step in, there are times where we MUST step in. So how do we recognize those instances? The reason we must step in sometimes goes back to the confidence factor I mentioned above. When you first begin addressing an issue, results are not going to be immediate. The dog has to have time to learn and change his behavior. The hard part is that children expect immediate results and if they do not see a change in the dog's behavior, they will think what they are doing is not working. In order to set your child up for success, it may be best to work with the dog by yourself initially so that your child sees progress sooner.
Another trick I use is cueing the dog from behind our child. While this does not necessarily teach the dog to listen to the child initially, it can build the child's confidence. My Corgi "Tru" used to only accept commands from me, so when my nephew wanted to ask her to sit, he was disappointed when she did not respond. It would not have taken long for him to give up so I would stand behind him and give the signal without him knowing so he felt successful. Obviously this will not work for all ages of children but it can help build confidence in younger children and I believe that is one of the best ingredients for success. The final, and most important, reason to step in is a matter of safety. If your dog is going to physically hurt your child by jumping on them and knocking them down or playbiting intervene immediately and work with the dog on these issues without your child until they have made progress.
Over the years I have developed lots of tips and tricks to help Parents/Kids/Dogs. So if you or someone you know is not happy with the interactions between their kids and dogs, give me a call I would be happy to help! 785.408.6127 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 785.408.6127 end_of_the_skype_highlighting
Involve your child in the acquisition process- The first topic I would like to address is before you have acquired the dog, so if you already have a dog you may skip this section, or read it for future reference! If you are considering getting a new dog, sit down and talk with your child about the idea of having a dog beforehand. If you feel your child is responsible enough to have his own dog, it is even more important to sit down and talk about ALL of the responsibilities that come with having a dog. I think it is a great idea to put together a "contract" that lists all the needs they will need to meet for their dog. Here are just a few responsibilities that can be included:
Meals (who feeds the dog and when?)
Bathroom breaks/walks (who walks the dog and when?)
Training sessions (If your child is old enough, have them commit to a group training class once a week. In addition to the class, two 15 minute training sessions a day.)
Playtime (what games will you play with the dog and when?)
Grooming (who will groom the dog and how often?)
Once you and your child have agreed on who is responsible for meeting your new dog's needs, then start researching breeds. There are breeds that are known for being better with children than others because of their temperament, energy level, size, etc. so do your homework and narrow the list down to a few candidates. Even if you are planning on going to the shelter to adopt (GREAT IDEA!), having a list of breeds you are interested in will help you pick the best dog for you once you get there, even if it is a mix breed (i.e. you may go to the shelter looking for a Labrador Retriever and end up falling in love with a Lab mix). Make sure you have an honest discussion with your child about the specific needs for each breed you are considering. If your child does not enjoy brushing or grooming than a long haired dog may not be a good pick. If your child does not have a lot of time to exercise the dog or take it for walks, you definitely do not want to look at breeds that have high energy levels.
Teach your child how dogs communicate- humans are very verbal communicators, while dogs actually use verbal communication as a last resort. Dogs rely much more heavily on body language in order to communicate. Therefore, they pick up on subtle cues from humans that most of us are not even aware that we are giving! This is especially true of children who typically give off play signals unintentionally and then get upset when the dog jumps up on them or mouths them.
It is important to teach your puppy that he isn't allowed to react that way no matter what "signals" he picks up. However, perhaps even more important is the opportunity it gives you to teach your child how to act around ALL dogs, even those that are not trained. It is a constant struggle for me to teach my 15 month old son how to respect dogs since my dogs are so "bullet proof" my corgi will let Clayton do practically anything to her (including sticking his fingers up her nose, pulling on her ears, and riding her like a pony), however I don't want him to grow up thinking ALL dogs will allow him to do that to them. Not to mention the fact that it isn't nice to do even if they let you! Here are some of the biggest miscommunications between dogs and kids:
Running: Whether it is because they are playing outside or they are running to get away from the dog, dogs love to play chase games. So when your child is running across the yard playing by himself, he should anticipate that running will make the dog want to join in on the fun. If the dog is already chasing them and they run, they are literally saying, "Come get me!", in dog language. Help your child understand that the best way to calm the dog down is actually by standing still.
Screaming/Yelling: Another popular response from kids is screaming/yelling. Whether they are yelling because they are having fun or because the dog has upset them, kids tend to yell in a higher octave than adults. Dogs translate higher octaves as excitement and happiness so their yelling just gets the dog even more excited. Think about what we do to our voice when we "sweet talk" our dogs, its sort of a sing-song, higher octave, tone of voice. Have your kids practice using their "in charge" voice. They should practice saying your dog's negative marker word (what you say to your dog when he does something undesirable) in as low an octave as possible. Have them practice this without the dog present at first.
Holding a Toy just out of reach: Boy do kids love to do this one! Perhaps its because they are so tired of everything being out of their reach that they want someone to know how it feels? I choose not to believe that it is an innate behavior for kids to tease animals but it does seem to come so naturally to some! A child will pick up a toy that the dog is playing with, hold it just out of the dog's reach, and then they are totally surprised when the dog jumps up/on them to get the toy and knocks the child down. Work with your dog on a reliable "drop it" command and teach your kids how to play fetch with your dog. Make sure they know that when you take a toy away from the dog that toy should either be put away or given back to the dog, not held just out of the dog's reach.
Playbiting Withdrawal: When a puppy playbites or mouths you or your kids, your first instinct is to dramatically withdraw and yelp (those puppy teeth are sharp!) However, this actually sends the wrong message to your dog. If you observe two puppies playing, one will playbite the other, bitten puppy will jump backwards, and biter will pursue bitten puppy even more. So, in dog language, withdrawing with a yelp actually means "game on!" The best way to handle playbiting is to say your negative marker word (remind them to say it as deeply as possible and not "yelp" the NMW) and not move a muscle. Why do animals play dead in the wild? Because the other animal is more likely to leave them alone if they don't react. This even works on people! My husband is less likely to give me a hard time if I don't react when he tries to get a rise out of me. It may be difficult to get your children to sit still while your dog mouths them, as I said before, those puppy teeth are sharp! If this is the case, it may be best for the parents to work on decreasing the playbiting, and then have the child follow suit.
Include your child in the training process: Many dog owners who enroll in my training sessions ask me if they can bring their children along to the lessons. Depending on the child's maturity level (age means very little), I encourage kids to come to the lessons. I think it is VERY important for the child to learn how to handle the dog appropriately. In my training sessions, I stress the importance of not just telling the dog what he CAN'T do but also telling him what he CAN do. What I find common with kids is that they are very good at spotting behavior they DON'T like in their furry companion but not so good at telling the dog what it SHOULD HAVE done. I believe this is because most kids don't know what the dog SHOULD do. An example would be a dog who likes to jump only on the kids, there are probably several reasons for this (some are listed above). However perhaps the biggest culprit is that when the dog jumps on the kids, the kids tend to get upset at the dog, but not communicate to the dog what he should have done in that situation (i.e. perhaps sitting would be better than jumping).
Kids do not have to be taught what a dog shouldn't do, they know naturally that they don't like the dog jumping up on them or biting them. They often do not know what a dog should do, like sit to ask for attention. Attending training sessions with their dog will teach your child what the dog should do. My nephew was only 2 years old when I asked him if he wanted to feed our dog "Rocky" a treat. As soon as I handed him the treat he whirled around to Rocky and said "Sit!" and Rocky did. He knew my dogs have to sit to get their treats so we had no trouble with Rocky jumping up or pushing him over to get the treat because Darren communicated to Rocky what he was supposed to do, therefore avoiding what he was NOT supposed to do.
Step in for your child, but only when absolutely necessary: One question I get quite often is, how much should I let my child handle on his own and how much should I step in and help him when the dog is not cooperating? There is no tried and true formula to determine how much parent interaction is helpful/hindering but there are two main things you want to keep in mind. The first is why we DON'T want to continually step in, the second, why sometimes we MUST step in.
It's hard not to step in and help your child every time they have trouble getting your dog to behave, but if you do this too much it can be harmful to the relationship between your child and your dog. When you continually intervene, the dog is learning that he only has to behave and listen to your child when YOU are around. If the consequences come from you instead of your child, the dog will know there are no consequences when you are in the other room. It is important that whenever possible, your child takes the necessary steps to make sure the dog behaves appropriately (this is determined by your child's maturity level, size, and skill level, of course). While your dog is learning he only has to listen to your child when you are around, your child's confidence is diminishing. Seeing you step in every time is going to make them believe they can't do it themselves. Pretty soon your child will not be willing to even attempt to get the dog to behave without your help and will want you to step in ALL the time. What's worse, when your child DOES decide to try, they will not have the confidence to convey to the dog that they are in fact in charge.
So now that I have convinced you to resist the urge to step in, there are times where we MUST step in. So how do we recognize those instances? The reason we must step in sometimes goes back to the confidence factor I mentioned above. When you first begin addressing an issue, results are not going to be immediate. The dog has to have time to learn and change his behavior. The hard part is that children expect immediate results and if they do not see a change in the dog's behavior, they will think what they are doing is not working. In order to set your child up for success, it may be best to work with the dog by yourself initially so that your child sees progress sooner.
Another trick I use is cueing the dog from behind our child. While this does not necessarily teach the dog to listen to the child initially, it can build the child's confidence. My Corgi "Tru" used to only accept commands from me, so when my nephew wanted to ask her to sit, he was disappointed when she did not respond. It would not have taken long for him to give up so I would stand behind him and give the signal without him knowing so he felt successful. Obviously this will not work for all ages of children but it can help build confidence in younger children and I believe that is one of the best ingredients for success. The final, and most important, reason to step in is a matter of safety. If your dog is going to physically hurt your child by jumping on them and knocking them down or playbiting intervene immediately and work with the dog on these issues without your child until they have made progress.
Over the years I have developed lots of tips and tricks to help Parents/Kids/Dogs. So if you or someone you know is not happy with the interactions between their kids and dogs, give me a call I would be happy to help! 785.408.6127 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 785.408.6127 end_of_the_skype_highlighting
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