Separation anxiety can run the gamut. From dogs who simply become unhappy that they do not get to go to work with you every day, to dogs who are so distressed when you leave them alone that they will actually cause physical harm to themselves trying to get to you. While we are on the subject of defining separation anxiety, let's discuss what is NOT separation anxiety. When you have a puppy that does not know he is not supposed to eat your couch (hey, its stuffing covered in fabric just like his other toys right?) so he has a party while you are running to the post office is NOT separation anxiety. Your adult dog who knows he will get in trouble for dumping over the trash and rummaging through it when you are there, but not when you are away, is NOT separation anxiety. I have had many owners self diagnose separation anxiety when in reality it is a lack of self control and boundaries on the part of their dog, not emotional distress. So whether we have a dog who is just misbehaving, acting out because we are gone, or truly afraid of being alone, what causes it and what can we do about it?
Like many behavior issues, separation anxiety has 2 main elements, nature and nurture.
The first is genetic predisposition. Some breeds are more likely to develop these tendencies than others. Most of the time it is because of what they were bred to do. German Shepherds for instance have had many jobs over the years: herder, war dog, police dog, service dog, etc. but all of these jobs have a common thread. They were expected to work very closely with a human. Therefore their brains are wired to think they need to be with us constantly! German Shepherds are definitely not the only breed that falls into this category but it is one of the most commonly known.
The second element is their environment, sometimes we try so hard to be great "puppy parents" that we create separation anxiety ourselves. When we bring home our new bundle of fur when it is 8-10 weeks old, it is so cute we can't hardly help but take it everywhere with us. Even our boss doesn't really mind it being at work because it is so darn cute! Then a few weeks pass and it starts getting bigger and more active so we decide it needs to stay home more often. Talk about getting the rug pulled out from under you! Most puppies go from being a permanent fixture under your arm to being relegated to the crate for hours on end with no transition period in between. You see, they are so cute and agreeable when we first get them, and we want to spend as much time with them as possible, that we forget to teach them how to be alone. Then when they stop being so cute, we don't realize they never learned how to be by themselves. The other possible environmental factor has nothing to do with you, the current owner. Some dogs, especially dogs adopted from a shelter, have had bad experiences, or just plain bad owners. You can be undoing some of the injustices of other owners that may have neglected the dog in the past by leaving them by themselves for hours, or even days on end.
The best thing you can do for your dog to begin helping them learn to be away from you is crate train them. For anyone who is against crate training, check out my other blog "Crate Training: Puppy Prison or Pooch Palace" for more information. Since I like defining things so much, lets talk about what exactly I mean by crate training. You see, I don't just mean teach them not to potty in their crate. This is what most owners associate with the term. I also do not just mean teach them to be quiet in their crate and not fuss. Yes I do mean those things but the most important thing crate training should accomplish is getting your dog to like it's crate. Wait, not like, LOVE! My dog loves her crate, it sets on the back porch out of view and she sometimes chooses to go in it and take a nap all on her own. She even gets upset when I have other dogs visiting and they are in her crate, that's HER spot! I had a puppy I was crate training and I had taken her crate out to clean it and she kept pacing around where it was supposed to be wondering what happened to her place! So how do we get them to love their crate?
Teach them a "Kennel" command- not only does this pair going into their crate with getting rewarded, it also allows them to enter willingly instead of being forced in. You would be surprised what a difference that makes in their attitude about their crate.
Make their favorite times of day happen in the crate- What do dogs love? Eating stuff! So feed them their meals in their crate. If they get a daily dental treat, feed it to them in their crate. If you brought them a new bone home, let them start it off in their crate. Buy a Kong, fill it with something yummy, and give it to them in their crate.
Start off by asking for only short increments of time in their crate, and make it when you are there with them! That way you can reward good behavior in the crate and discourage bad behavior.
Don't allow them to only associate the crate with you leaving- most owners only put their dogs in the crate when they are getting ready to leave. If we do this the dog starts associating the crate with us leaving. Most owners who say their dog doesn’t like their crate are wrong, the part they don't like is that they know the crate means YOUR LEAVING. Practice crating them when you are working around the house, like cooking dinner.
So now that we are working on them liking (wait, LOVING) their crate, we must now address the separation part. Start at a level your dog can handle, this level will be determined by your dogs personality, current skill level of training, and history. If you have adopted your dog from a shelter, many times you do not know the background of that dog. The sad reality is that if they wound up at the shelter, chances are someone did leave them and never came back. We have to give them a chance to understand that we will always come back. Consider a dog who is learning to not break a "Stay" command when his owners leaves his sight, the first few times the dog gets worried when he cannot see his owner. But each time the owner leaves and eventually returns, the dog is not as concerned. It has taken my Mix breed dog a few years not to get concerned when she is the only dog going for a ride in the car (I found her dumped on the side of the road as a 4 month old puppy). Each time she went for a ride and came back home her confidence rose. So even if a successful level for your dog is that you put them in their crate and go out onto the porch, or even just into the next room, that is where you need to start. Actually, it is better to start at this lower level, as stated above, so that you can address their behavior while being away from you. Once your dog is able to handle that level, slowly increase the time away and the freedom also. Allow them to graduate from the crate to a confinement area (see definition of this below under special circumstances), then eventually, they may have the run of the entire house!
Many times I find it easy to relate parenting to dog training, as it is a category many owners have had experience in. A dog's crate is much like my son's crib, it is a place where they can relax and feel safe. My son went through his own stage of separation anxiety (and maybe more to come!) where he did not like when you left him in the living room and when outside. Even if you were doing nothing more than running to the mailbox! However, everyday without fail at naptime, I could take him upstairs to his crib and he would start to relax and drift off to sleep before I ever made it back down the stairs! What's more, when he wakes up from his nap, he rarely cries or even yells to get our attention. We have to just keep going up to check on him because he will just entertain himself in his crib until someone notices he is awake! This is because he knows that is HIS spot and he is safe there. He knows if we put him down for a nap, we will ALWAYS come back to get him. He is also much better about leaving him in the living room when I run outside because we have practiced this many times in small increments that he can handle. I will run to the mail box or out to the car and every time I come back without fail, he is less worried. However, if I had left him in the living room by himself for 8 hours while I went to work, I can only imagine the mess he would make, let alone the amount of stress he would feel! So when we look at separation anxiety in dogs from this standpoint, it is amazing that it only takes them a year or two to be ready to have the run of the house while we are gone to work, our kids can't handle that responsibility until they are teenagers…and they still make a mess!
*Special circumstances*
As I stated above, there are many times when a dog's history is working against us and our goals to help them become better adjusted. Sometimes special circumstances dictate we take another route. For instance, if you have adopted a dog who spent his entire life in a crate and has a very high level of anxiety associated with that (a good example of this are breeder dogs from puppy mills), then maybe you use a confinement area instead of a crate. A confinement area is a room that is as "dog proof" as possible and will hopefully not allow them to act out, for example, the bathroom, utility room, kitchen, or garage depending on your house setup. Don't be afraid to modify the program if your dog has special circumstances. The point is that we are able to keep their destructive behavior under control until they can be rewarded with more freedom. However you can accomplish this on a successful level for you and your is what you should do.
So if your dog is exhibiting bad behavior while you are away, ask yourself these questions:
Have I given my dog too much freedom too quickly and he doesn't know how to handle it?
Have I devoted time while I am at home to teach my dog how to appropriately be away from me?
Am I using the building block that is given to me as an owner of a den animal (the crate) to help communicate my message?
If you have dedicated a significant amount of time to these things and see NO progress, then you should talk to a professional trainer about other options. Once you have talked to a trainer, if there are no other options, then (and only then) should you consider medication.