It is never easy saying goodbye to our four legged friends. Unfortunately, we will probably say goodbye to several during our time here on Earth. Whether it be from old age, illness or tragic accident, most of us have experienced the grief and sense of loss that losing a pet can bring. As a trainer who works with many pets, as well as a short time working at a Vet's office in college, I have been a part of many goodbyes and have a few tips I would like to share with anyone who may be going through this difficult time. Nothing is going to make it easier, but I hope these tips can help get you through.

   I know this may be difficult to hear, but most owners are  not ready to get a new dog immediately.  It has been my experience that owners need at least a few weeks to say goodbye and begin to grieve the loss of their pet before getting a replacement. The loneliness of your household may be difficult to bear but it is better to allow yourself time to grieve. A dog should NEVER be an impulse buy, even if you have the best of intentions.

   If you have a multi-dog household, it is best to be prepared for some behavior changes from your other dogs as a result of your loss. Not only are dogs emotionally attached to each other, they have a very complex social hierarchy that may be thrown a curveball by removing a piece of it. Especially if the dog that passed away was a leader to your other dogs. If the surviving dog has been a follower much of its life, than it will definitely need some time to adjust. You may even see some behavioral issues crop up that might completely surprise you. Chances are, the surviving dog was a follower because that's his natural personality. If the dog who passed away was his leader, he may be feeling like he has been put in charge of something he isn't capable of handling and that may lead him to over-react to situations that never bothered him before (he wasn't bothered before because he wasn't the dog in charge).

  When the time is right to get another dog, please consider adoption. First, decide what breeds you are interested in. Even if you get a mix breed, you should consider how both breeds would get along with your household and routine. Do you want the same kind of dog as you had? Or something different? Even if you have a certain breed in mind, there are breed rescues all over the country that would allow you to get the breed of dog you are interested in and still provide a life for a homeless animal. Not only are you giving the dog you adopt a second chance by adopting, you are making more room at that shelter/rescue for them to be able to take another dog in. That has the possibility of saving two lives!

  This is so important! No two dogs will EVER be the same. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard, "Well we have had (insert any breed here)'s all our life and NONE of them have been like this!" Every dog is an individual, while it is true that certain breeds CAN have similar personalities, it is not guaranteed. So if you decide to get the same breed, don't expect it to be "just like the last one". Also, many times when our dogs leave us, they are in the later stages of life and fit perfectly into our household and routines. It is pretty hard not to look back on our memories of our last dog with rose colored glasses, forgetting all the times they created extra work for us in the beginning. Getting a new dog is going to be A LOT of work, but it will all be worth it!

 Will Rogers once said "If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." Thankfully we do not have to make that decision because Revelation 5:13 assures us that our wonderful wet nosed friends we have said goodbye to over the years are waiting for us in Heaven! I make it no secret that I believe in God and would like to share a scripture that has helped me say goodbye.  And every creature which is in heaven and on the earth and under the earth and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, I heard saying: "Blessing and honor and glory and power be to Him that sits on the throne, and to the Lamb, forever and ever!" Revelation 5:13 
If I may, I would also like to share how I came to know this particular scripture because I think it’s a pretty amazing story. My mom, dad, aunt and uncle were visiting family friends in California. These friends live on a large ranch where they run cattle, have horses and dogs. My family was discussing our mutual love of animals when my Aunt Carmen voiced her concern about what happens to our animals after they pass away. Our family friends then gave her the scripture above and my Aunt has never forgotten it. The crazy thing about it is, a year or so later, my Grandparents decided to pay the same friends a visit. While they were there, my Aunt Carmen got a message on her machine from my Grandma asking her for the scripture. My Aunt was puzzled because she knew my Grandmother was visiting the very people that gave it to her in the first place, why wouldn't my grandmother ask them? As it turns out, neither our friends nor my parents (who were also there) have any recollection of this scripture being shared among them during that initial visit. My aunt and uncle are the only ones who remember! God works in mysterious ways...

  Nothing can make the process of losing your best friend go by faster. For me, the process never ends, from time to time I still tear up about some of the dogs I have said goodbye to over the years (Pepper the Corgi, Bronson the German Shepherd, and Stitch the Border Collie). However, it is my hope that my experience with saying goodbye and the tips I have given you can help in some way.

Over the next few months, I will be recruiting guest blog writers to cover other areas of the dog world. I hope to get owners, veterinarians, groomers, day care workers, rescue volunteers etc. to give me their perspective. My first guest writer, Taryn Temple, adopted a dog from the Ottawa Shelter a little over 2 years ago, named her Trinity, and promptly enrolled her in one of my group classes. I recently asked Taryn to write a short note about her experience going through training and getting to know each other better after adopting. Below is her perspective:

One of the most valuable decisions I made as a new dog owner was to start a basic obedience class less than a week after I brought my pup home. It wasn’t so much the tricks we learned (although Trinity sits so prettily now, and she’s adorable when she bows). What we learned in class was communication. She realized that the signals I made and the words I said had meaning. Also, I learned to read her body language so I could tell when she understood what I was asking her to do or when she was completely confused. Thus, from our first weeks together, we opened up lines of communication that we still use today. Instead of remaining two separate species with no idea how to “speak” to one another, we found a language of simple words and body signals we could both understand. 

The class we took used positive reinforcement to reward behaviors. I strongly and emphatically recommend this kind of training method! I never felt like I was punishing Trinity or making her afraid of me. She came to me as a shy rescue dog and I never betrayed her trust by yelling at her, hurting her, or “punishing” bad behavior. Not using punishment didn’t mean Trinity got away with everything or ran rampant through the house. We learned a strong “no” signal to indicate unwanted behavior. However, when Trinity changed the unwanted behavior into something acceptable, she received a reward for that choice.

The constant praise and treats brought Trinity slowly out of her shell. She started her first class terrified of men, but after a few months of positive reinforcement work her confidence grew so much that she would take treats out of the hands of clerks and male customers in pet stores. Not only that, but she became what I would call a “creative” dog. When we started learning a new signal she would show me all kinds of old and new behaviors (some helpful, some less so) in hopes that one of them would be the one I was asking for and would get her the reward. Even now when I get out the treats, Trinity runs the gamut of her tricks before I even ask her—it makes me giggle every time!

The process was not all rainbows and sunshine. The very first command was sit, and Trinity could not figure out what on earth I was asking her to do. I remember coming to my trainer in tears, certain that we would fail our first class. Thankfully I had a trainer that was willing to give us some extra time and try new methods to lead Trinity into the behavior. Finally Trinity understood what I wanted her to do and, voilá, a sit on command! Also, daily practice was necessary, which was difficult with my busy schedule. One week Trinity would know a command perfectly, the next it would be like I had never taught her at all. Plus sometimes she would do a trick at home, but then be so distracted in class she wouldn’t remember it. Still, the improvement in both of us from week to week was exciting to see. Despite occasional setbacks Trinity and I both enjoyed the mental stimulation and challenges of class.

I can say without a doubt that taking classes with my dog has enriched our lives together exponentially. Plus now I have a fantastic resource because my trainer is someone I can go to with questions if problems crop up in the future. Trinity and I can’t wait to take an agility class together soon and keep learning and having fun together! If you have a dog or will be getting a dog soon, enroll in a class together. You won’t regret it!

One of the most common answers you will hear me give dog owners is, "It depends". Of course this is usually followed by a lengthy explanation as to WHY and WHAT "it depends" on but unfortunately there are no set in stone answers with dog training. A method that works with one dog, may not work with another, a method that works with one behavior may not work for another behavior (with the same dog!), heck, a method may work with a behavior and then suddenly stop working because the dog has figured out how to make it work for them! Many owners will ask, " Is my dog really smart enough to figure that out?" Absolutely! That is why we must always be aware of the strategies we are using with our dogs and realizing when our program needs to be changed or modified to continue to see progress. Below are some of the most common scenarios where we may need to make a change in our training.

Unwanted behaviors- When we first begin addressing Unwanted behaviors such as barking, jumping or play biting, our first obstacle is teaching the puppy what behaviors we like and dislike. We do this in a series of 3 steps: 1. Address the Unwanted behavior, 2. Teach a better behavior to replace it, and 3. Reward the Good behavior. We are literally telling our puppies, "Don't do that, do this, I like it better". This works VERY well for the first few weeks of training. Once your pup has figured out what you like and what you don't, we should change our strategy a bit. Our method needs to be adjusted for two reasons: dogs are good at manipulating a situation to their advantage and humans tend to "grease the squeaky wheel". Once your puppy knows what behaviors you like and which you don't, you should then focus on catching your puppy BEFORE they exhibit the unwanted behavior. Otherwise, you run the risk of your puppy learning that the bad behavior is a necessary part of the sequence. For example, let's say you have been working VERY diligently on not allowing your puppy to jump up on you for attention. Every time he does jump, you address the bad behavior, give him a better behavior (sit) and reward him with your attention when he sits. Now imagine your puppy coming up to you while you are on the computer. He sits politely, proud how good he is being! Unfortunately, you fail to notice because you are engrossed in the glow of your computer screen. Frustrated and annoyed that his "correct" behavior didn't work, your puppy jumps in the middle of your work. You yell "No!" and then ask him to "Sit". Once he sits, you give him a pat on the head and say "Good, dog". Uh-oh! You just taught your pup that the bad behavior is necessary in order to get rewarded for the good behavior. He says to himself: "It doesn’t work if I simply choose to be good, I must be bad, then be good, to get rewarded".

Same behavior, different motive?- The reason behind our dog's behavior is the key to addressing it. Another area dog owners tend to get confused on is when the (seemingly)same behavior needs to be addressed two different ways based on the situation. Excessive barking is a perfect example of this. Sometimes dogs choose to bark at external stimuli (i.e. a squirrel), if this is the case, usually my advice is the three steps above, address the behavior (negative word), ask for a better behavior (in this case a "Watch me" command works great), then reward for the good behavior. However, there is another type of excessive barking called "Attention seeking" and it should be handled quite differently. If your dog  tends to stand and bark at you so you will pay attention to them they are attention seekers. In this particular case, a Watch me command would be a poor choice, it gives them exactly what they want, our attention. In this instance, it is actually better to ignore the barking ( I know that is difficult!) and try to focus on giving them attention when they are sitting quietly. So even though it seems to be the same behavior (barking) the motive behind the behavior may alter how we address it (Watch Me command vs. Ignoring the barking)

Perfect Puppy Syndrome- When puppies are weaned from their mother and placed in their new homes, they tend to be pretty dependant on their owners at first. At this young age, they rarely leave our side and may not even exhibit any unwanted behaviors. Many naïve dog owners think they have happened upon the perfect puppy! Unfortunately, this isn't usually the case. As the puppy gets older, it will become more sure of itself and is likely to start exhibiting unwanted behaviors much to the chagrin of their owner. When I teach a class, I always forewarn my puppy parents that most puppies do not reach their peak of independence until around 7 months old. Until this time (and even beyond this age) owners should not be at all surprised at new behaviors cropping up seemingly out of nowhere. In one of my puppy classes, I had an owner who failed to listen to my speech about how to address excessive barking because, in her words, her dog did not know how to bark. Well about half way through the class she took me aside frantically asking my advice on how to stop her puppy's new habit…barking! Her training program did not initially include a chapter on barking but as her puppy evolved, so did her training program!

Auto Pilot Dogs- When training your dog, another aspect that dog owners need to be aware of is the importance of varying OUR behavior during training exercises to make certain that our dog is learning concepts and developing habits, not just picking up on patterns that won't be a part of real life scenarios. For example, one exercise my clients do in class is set out a variety of items on the ground, walk past the items, and instruct the dog to either take the item or leave the item alone. I stress the importance of varying the exercise in a few different ways: vary which items are leave its (do not always make the toys "leave its" and the treats "take it" or they will eventually ignore the toys and scoop up all the treats), vary what order you put the items (if you walk past the items and always say "leave", "leave", "take" they will begin running past the first two items and taking the last before you are able to say anything), finally, vary what types of items you use (toys, treats, shoes, tissues, sticks,etc.). If you do not vary your behavior in the exercise, your dog will simply be learning the pattern of this "game" and not be listening to your commands. When you attempt to use the command in real life scenarios, they will not have the rules of the "game" to fall back on and will likely fail. Just be sure that no matter what command you are practicing, that you have varied YOUR behavior enough that they are learning the concept well enough to be able to apply it to any situation Otherwise you have a dog who is on auto pilot and not really listening and responding to commands but figuring out patterns.

Same breed, same personality?- I hear this one A LOT! "I just don't understand! The last dog we had was a (insert any breed here) and we NEVER had these issues with them. What's wrong with this dog?!" While it is true that most breeds have been selectively bred for certain personality characteristics, every dog is individual. I have one client who brings EVERY new dog she gets through my classes (even though she herself has been through the class several times already) and swears she learns something new every time. This actually is not surprising, there are certain underlying themes to dog training but understanding each dog is an individual experience. One of my biggest pet peeves (no pun intended!) is when a dog trainer has only one answer for an owner and if that doesn’t work, the dog is "defective" or "un-trainable". If one method does not work, you need to find a fresh way to look at the problem, even if your original method worked for your last (insert any breed here).

Because dog training is an activity that involves another living,breathing,thinking, and learning animal: As soon as you think you have it figured out, think again! I have been working with dogs for over 20 years and I still learn new things from every new dog that walks into one of my lessons. A good dog trainer (or dog owner) is constantly evolving their training regimen to accommodate how your training partner (your pup!) has changed or evolved.